I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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