I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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