There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
