dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
