I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize