While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
