windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
