thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I understand Curling. That high.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
