Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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