This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
