You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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