Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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