I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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