Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
