There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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