Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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