There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Someone came in the potted fern
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
