I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
