Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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