# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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