booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
