This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
