Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize