Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
