she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is the high leading the old right now
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
