pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
