So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
