I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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