Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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