is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
