Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
