i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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