There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
