if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
