Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
