he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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