You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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