Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
