Duck Duck Cougar?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
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