yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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