I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
