I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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