I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
