Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
