I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
