It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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