sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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