I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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