Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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