I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
