Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
