First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
