I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
