just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
