I could have mohawked her pubes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
