youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
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She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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