You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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