My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
