The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
