I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize