id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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