I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
