Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
