If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
