It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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