I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
