and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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