i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
